In the aftermath of Mike’s death, we get a rather common funeral episode for Desperate Housewives where the whole hour is spent with them remembering entirely unrelated things, making the episode one of the most boring and less important of the whole series. But then again, that’s how all funeral episodes have been in Desperate Housewives, or at least most of them. A series of flashbacks where we see things that don’t really have much to do with the current storylines that, if we are lucky, help the housewives make decisions about how their attitudes regarding life will change.
At least, this time around we got some of the latter, though the former side of the content took the better part of the episode, making it one of the most dragged out and pointless episodes of the series, yet one that somehow will have its impact over the ones to come.
First, naturally, there’s Susan, who spent some time reminiscing over her times with Mike, as one would expect, eventually gathering the strength to stand up and deliver a short speech at his funeral where she spoke about Mike’s version of Heaven and the kind of man he was – Nothing really unexpected or out of common from her, but then again that’s what one would expect the character to go through all things considered, so I’ll spare her my bashing.
And then there are the rest of the characters. Lynnette spends some time reminiscing over her marriage with Tom and in the end decides she’s going all superbitch on the separation and not letting Tom go that easily. Expect some hair-pulling and bitchslapping scenes between her and Tom’s new girlfriend in the episodes to come, probably as the highlight of one of the increasingly nonsensical episodes of the final season of the series.
Gabrielle also reminisces about her own marriage, remembering how she’s always been a stuck up, selfish bitch and Carlos has always been the lovable idiot who still stands up for her when she clearly doesn’t deserve the very air she breathes. Nevertheless, this leads her to having an epiphany and deciding she’d stop being the self-deserving bitch she usually is and allow Carlos to quit the job he’s hating, this representing a change of mind with her stance in the previous episode where she pretty much said if Carlos couldn’t buy her no diamonds then it was all over (Note: Not her actual words.)
Bree is perhaps the one who gets the best scenes, with her reminiscing about how she came to be the cold, calculating, emotionless ice queen we’ve all grown to love, explaining this all comes from her mother, who taught her to lie about her feelings at all times because that’s what ladies do. Then she goes on to think about how she used it with Rex and how she still believes that’s the most lady-like way to act. This all happens as she’s waiting on the police office to be questioned regarding a disappearance, following the lead that Orson sent the police. After questioning her, and noting how she kept such a demeanor that was impossible to read, the policemen let her go without letting her know the only thing they wanted to get from her there were her fingerprints, which apparently matched perfectly some of the fingerprints found in Alejandro’s body. Just don’t ask how an intact fingerprint survived six months of being buried in two different places and a rotting body. Then again, it’s not like the series make much sense anyway.
So all in all, the episode was mostly a waste of time and a disjointed and badly put up attempt at giving the housewives reasons to reel back on previously taken decisions. The only part that actually mattered for the storyline (besides Susan’s grieving, I guess) was Bree’s questioning at the police office, something that could’ve easily been done on another episode as a part of the plot.
So, Desperate Housewives, congratulations on completely wasting yet another episode of the few remaining ones in your run.
Final review rating: 2/5